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The Idiocy and Dishonesty of Conservative Talk Radio
September 20, 2003

In my never ending attempts to listen to both sides of every issue, I subjected myself to some "conservative" talk radio the other day. One of the callers mentioned a story they had seen on CNN concerning the low morale of our troops.

The host immediately launched into this idiotic tirade, blaming the despicable, anti-American, liberal media who will do and say anything to undermine this president's war on terrorism, including searching high and low for disgruntled soldiers and all but bribing them to say so on camera. By so doing, the media is guilty of giving aid and comfort to the enemy and should therefore be charged with treason, strung up in the middle of the desert, and urinated on as frequently as possible before being gutted for the liberal traitors they are.

On my radio show the next day, I took this idiocy to task, stating firstly that this ridiculous premise completely ignores the fact that the attacks on our troops began right after major combat operations were proclaimed to be over - when our troops morale was as high as it could be, having just participated in the toppling of Saddam's statue. (Only the toppling of a statue of Donald Rumsfeld would've made them happier.) There were no reports of low morale then.

I guess it is inconceivable to a neo-conservative mind these attacks might have more to do with the fact that their country was attacked, thousands upon thousands of lives were lost ; many of these people are still without electricity and water, a commodity they enjoyed before our invasion; their country is still being looted on a daily basis, and women are afraid to leave their homes for fear of being raped or worse by animals neo-conservatives are now trying to convince us we should be deliriously happy we "liberated", even at the expense of some of our finest.

I tried to point out the hypocrisy of blaming the same media who essentially gave this war to its supporters by repeating this administration's lies unchallengingly prior to the invasion, including the hallucinatory link between Iraq and al-Qaeda.

I also tried to demonstrate the stupidity of the statement "It's better to fight the terrorists here in Iraq instead of in America." Hello! NOT IF YOU'RE AN IRAQI! Are the Iraqis supposed to look upon us favorably when they see their country has evolved into a magnetized battle field for militant al-Qaeda types who were not present before - only to hear us say "better there than here"?! Only in "Who the Hell Needs Friends Anyway?", (Donald Rumsfeld's rewrite of Dale Carnegie's best seller) would you find advice like this.

And yet, this conservative host and his loyal band of fascist troglodytes would have you believe the attacks on our boys are being motivated SOLELY… by a report on a disgruntled soldier on CNN. Aren't you embarrassed? Conservatives should be ashamed they even waste electricity or battery power listening to this rubbish. It is both frustrating and embarrasing that in a country where cures for the most insidious diseases have been discovered, and where the technology that allows human beings to explore outer space has been developed… that this type of primitive, knuckle dragging lack of thought process and miserable excuse for conversation still exists.

And then I got to thinking… perhaps I didn't make my point clearly enough. Let's reverse the process. It's called "putting yourself in the other person's shoes", or… sandals, as the case may be.

Let's say Iraq is the world's lone super power, and America is an impoverished, 3rd world country. President Saddam Hussein decides he wants to reward the corporations that put him in power, and award them no-bid contracts in America to rebuild it. What's that? American doesn't need to be rebuilt? "It will, after we destroy it", Hussein says, allowing his signature smirk to mutate his lips.

Swaggering up to the podium in his flight suit, Saddam bellows "F--k George Bush and the French horse he wouldn't ride in on, but now is trying to mount, realizing how badly he blew it. We're taking him out!" On the advice of his chief advisor, Tarik Aziz, who tells him "you don't roll out a new product in August", Hussein starts marketing his war in September. He starts saying things like "We know America has developed and used WMD's." He cites Japan as an example. He says "We know America has gassed its own people." He cites Waco as an example. He then leans into the camera, lowers his voice and says "ma-a-a-a-s-s-s graves" and cites Arlington National Cemetery as an example.

He then leans even closer to the camera and whispers "torture chambers", and cites conservative talk radio and Fox News as examples. All of these deceits are promulgated by his complacent, compliant media, who repeat his lies verbatim, fearful of repercussions. His sycophantic press secretary Baghdad Bob has after all, told the Iraqi people they "had better watch what they say." Those Iraqis who do risk incurring the ruling regime's wrath by protesting its rush to war are herded into "Free Speech Zones". People are arrested for wearing T-shirts that say "Give Peace a Chance", or "No War for Oil". Seemingly unaware of the paradox, Saddam starts proclaiming he will "export democracy to America".

And after we allow weapons inspectors into our country and they report that we are co-operating with them, Saddam first says "the Americans are NOT co-operating", and later "We had to go to war because the Americans wouldn't allow weapons inspectors in." We shake our heads in disbelief and say "This can't be happening. Surely the people of the world's only superpower wouldn't elect someone this deranged." And the Iraqi people, some informed, some disenfranchised, can only nod their heads in agreement. Their President was NOT elected. But no-one dares voice their criticism, for fear of being "Dixie Burka'd.

And then Saddam invades America, and because our military has been decimated by years of UN sanctions and by the Republican congress cutting their pay and benefits while they fought nobly around the world… what remains of our military strips off their uniforms and goes home to fight another day.

In the aftermath of the Iraqi summer invasion, all of a sudden you don't have electricity; you don't have air conditioning; you don't have "conservative" talk radio. You become smarter, but you become hotter as well. To make matters worse, you find yourself without water as well.

Your cities are being looted by ne'er do wells who were let out of jail to free up money for Saddam's tax cuts. Your women are being raped and the occupying Iraqis do nothing to stop it. They're too busy protecting the oil wells in Texas. But you do not fight back.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Pinnochowitz of Arabia find their pictures being emblazoned on Iraqi playing cards. George W. Bush of course… is the 'ass' of spades.

You become frustrated, you become angry. The Iraqis raid your home in the middle of the night removing some of your family members in the process, but you still don't fight back. Saddam Hussein goes on international television and says "Bring 'em on". The Reverend Jerry Falwell calls for a crusade against the invading, infidel Muslims, and STILL… you don't fight back.

Nope… it isn't until one night you turn on al-Jazeera television and you watch an interview with an Iraqi soldier, WHICH YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYWAY BECAUSE IT'S IN ARABIC!!… (sorry, sudden reality attack… NOT allowed in neo-conservative fantasies)… as you watch the interview, the soldier mentions that he is disgruntled.

That does it! NOW you're mad - time to finally stand up and fight back. The rape of your wife didn't do it, but the sight of a disgruntled Iraqi soldier?…that's something else altogether. (And again I remind you… we must overlook the fact that you already started to fight back right after the Iraqis pulled down the statue of George W. Bush on Capitol Hill five months ago.)

My question to conservatives is… why do you continue to play the redundant game called "conservative" talk radio? Do you really believe the lies the hosts continuously shove down your throats? Or is it all part of the hate game you play on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from acknowledging how badly your Republican conservative administration has screwed this country up? How they took the enormous good will the world had for this country after 9-11 and blew it, turning this country into the most hated nation on earth. Is "conservative" talk radio a necessary exercise in surviving a disgraceful, dishonest administration that you voted for?

I used to write this sick and twisted phenomenon called "conservative" talk radio off to pure partisanship. But you know what? It's MORE than just partisanship. It is blatant stupidity motivated by denial and delusion, fueled by blind, partisan hatred. And through its lies and deceit, it further divides an already fractured and frightened country so confused as to believe Saddam Hussein and his countrymen actually had something to do with 9-11.

I would submit if ever there were a legitimate reason to hop aboard a boycott bandwagon, "conservative" talk radio would more than sufficiently provide it.

Doug Basham broadcasts every weekday morning on AM 1230 KLAV in Las Vegas from 8 - 9 AM Pacific. The show is also simulcast on the internet. For more information, to listen live on the web, or to sign up for his free daily newsletter, please visit Doug can be reached at, or 1-866-DOUG-911.


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